"What is the Matter with the Geese?"

One day, at the height of the Victorian Age, a captain in the Royal Navy noted that the two geese who were pets of the ship’s company were acting oddly, standing with difficulty and falling over when they did.

He summoned his steward.

“What is the matter with the geese?”

“Drunk, sir,” came the swift reply.  “They attend the grog tub every day, and nearly all the cooks of the messes give them grog”

Hearing this, the captain made swift command decision.

“You know the rule; if a man is found drunk, his mess’s grog is watered for three days.  If I hear of the geese being drunk again, I will water both yours and the boys’ grog.”

The Death of Colonel Sturgeon

On New Year’s Day of 1796 Henry Sturgeon (1781-1814) left the Royal Military Academy as a second lieutenant in the Royal Artillery.  In August of 1800, by then a lieutenant,  he took part in a raid on El Ferrol, in Spain, and the following year was wounded in the Battle of Alexandria (March 13, 1801).  In 1807, by which time he had transferred to the Royal Staff Corps and secured promotion to captain, Sturgeon began serving under Arthur Wellesley, later the Duke of Wellington, in the Peninsula, proving an outstanding officer, conducting reconaissances, performing engineer duties, and helping to plan operations.  Described by Wellington as "a clearheaded officer . . . always showing himself a clever fellow,” he was promoted to major in 1809.  Sturgeon earned a mention in dispatches for the storming of Ciudad Rodrigo (Jan. 20, 1812), was given a brevet promotion to lieutenant-colonel, and then got another mention for the Battle of Salamanca (July 22, 1812).  In April of 1813 Sturgeon was placed in command of the Corps of Guides, an elite unit that conducted reconnaissance, provided escorts, carried dispatches, and performed other specialized duties for the army.  In February of 1814 Sturgeon facilitated Wellington’s desire to besiege Bayonne, in southwestern France, by developing the idea for a bridge of boats over the River Adour, called by the historian Sir William Francis Patrick, in his History of the War in the Peninsula War, a “stupendous undertaking, which must always rank among the prodigies of war.”

 Just a few days after this, on February 27, 1814, Wellington defeated a French relief force in the Battle of Orthez.  Wellington promptly wrote a letter to inform Lt. Gen. John Hope, commanding the force besieging Bayonne, about his victory.  But when the officer entrusted with the letter asked for some Guides to serve as an escort, there were none to be had, Sturgeon having, for the only time in his career, dropped the ball. 

Now the Duke of Wellington had a ferocious temper (see “The Duke of Wellington Never Apologizes”), so when he heard that his letter would have to be delayed, he became furious.  Summoning Sturgeon, Wellington subjected him to a severe reprimanded in the presence of some officers with whom he was dining.  Described as “violent” and with “harsh expressions,” the rebuke wholly dispirited Sturgeon.

On March 19^th, during an action near Vic-en-Bigorre, Sturgeon deliberately rode into a vineyard infested with French skirmishers and was promptly killed.